MMMM Mountainous Mandarin Pie

Today's Recipe is brought to you by the letter M.

Last week I tried a recipe for a multi level lemon pie ... it went terribly wrong. Richard was super nice and insisted on eating it anyway. I threw away a slice everyday, though, to shorten his suffering. To redeem myself this week I decided to stick to one I know, and well I now have to sit down. My poor little belly is so swollen from licking fingers, beaters, and bowls. While I'm sitting here I might as well share it with you. Ladies and Gentlemen - Mountainous Mandarin Pie

Ingredients

• 1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened
• 1 can (14 ounces) sweetened condensed milk
• 1/2 cup thawed orange juice concentrate
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 2 drops yellow food coloring, optional
• 1 drop red food coloring, optional
• 1 carton (8 ounces) frozen whipped topping, thawed
• 1 chocolate crumb crust (9 inches)
• 1 can (15 ounces) mandarin oranges, drained
• 1 ounce unsweetened chocolate
• 1 teaspoon shortening

Directions

• In a large bowl, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Beat in the milk, orange juice concentrate, sour cream and food coloring if desired until smooth. Fold in whipped topping. Spoon half into crust. Set eight mandarin orange segments aside. Arrange remaining oranges over filling. Top with remaining filling and reserved oranges.
• In a microwave, melt chocolate and shortening; stir until smooth. Cool slightly; drizzle over pie. Chill for at least 4 hours before serving. Yield: 6-8 servings.

Other musings while I'm waiting to de-bloat. What is it about sweetened condensed milk that is so amazing?! Today I caught myself licking the sticky, thick, sweet, dripping concoction off... the jagged and very sharp lid from the can! OH MY GOODNESS! I realized what I was doing and quickly set it down. 5 mins later there I am licking this lid again! AGH! What do they put in this stuff?! Ingredients: Whole milk, sugar. That's all? Really? No MSG? No addictive chemicals? No crack? Good thing I haven't found a recipe that only calls for a few teaspoons of the stuff otherwise you would turn on the news and hear:

Tonight's Top Story-

A young woman in Northern Utah was rushed to a local hospital after apparently overdosing on a common household ingredient. It all started when Abby Ronnow, an unemployed Weber graduate, came across a recipe that only called for a small portion of a can of sweetened condensed milk. She was found hours later passed out on her kitchen floor. "It was awful,"said husband Richard, "She was just lying there, a dumb grin on her face with what looked like tin can cuts on her tongue." .....