Attack of the BUGS!

I'm not sure if it is because it's getting warmer, or dryer, or what, but it has been a bad week for bugs. 

First off I was out watering my lemon tree when I realized there were tons of nasty little aphids trying to suck the life out of it!

 I cleaned them off the best I could.  Sadly they were back in full force the next day. Now I'm trying a soap solution.

Next it was The Cockroach.

I was relaxing on the futon reading a nice book, minding my own business when the biggest, grossest, ugliest cockroach came flying through the living room! I haven't seen them fly yet so I was extra upset by it. It flew into the kitchen. I grabbed a dish towel to try and knock it out of the air. I managed to, but it landed on the stove and crawled UNDER THE BURNERS! Ewww! I turned on the broiler and all of the burners and stood and waited...Flip flop at the ready. The burners are glowing the oven roaring.. The heat from them burning my face. 3 agonizing minutes go by.. It's gotta be dead now..Right? I lean in to turn off the burners but, before I can even get to them, out from the crack of the oven door wiggles out the very alive COCKROACH! AGGHAHGAHA!!

Pandemonium resumes as it once more takes flight!

AGH! I knock it out of the air again with the towel then start wailing on it with my flip flop. Nothing is happening!!! WHY WON'T YOU DIE! It takes flight again. My flip flop beating has only made it fly crooked. I run out to get something heavier. Richard's Flip Flop? It'll have to do. It had now landed on the floor and was trying to escape under the dishwasher. WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP! DIE DIE DIE!!!! I pause... it seems dead .. it is oozing slightly. Then like a zombie it reanimates itself and...

STARTS CRAWLING RIGHT TOWARDS ME!!! 

5 more hits with Richard's sandal.. It's not dead.. but it's only kind-of moving. I rush to the bathroom grab a tissue scoop up its nasty oozing wriggling body and 

Triumphantly Flush It Down the Toilet!

And Finally

THE CENTIPEDE!

I've only seen a centipede once in real life before this. It was when we lived in Utah and we had the geckos. We fed the geckos live crickets so it wasn't uncommon to find an escapee here and there around the house. Well late one night I woke up to use the restroom. I didn't have my contacts in and suddenly a little something comes slinking out from behind the toilet. Richard was woken up by the sound of me shrieking 

HONEY THERE IS A CRICKET IN HERE WITH TOO MANY LEGS!!! 

In the nature shows and books that I had previously seen them in they had always seemed  like cool, complex little bugs. In real life, they make my skin crawl. I'm getting all squirmy just typing about them. Anyways, that one was only about the size of a cricket and it was still pretty unnerving.  Last night was a totally different story.

Richard  had gotten off work early and we were watching Netflix. Suddenly he feels something brush up against both of his feet at the same time.

He glanced down to see a GIANT CENTIPEDE thrashing from side to side between his feet.I have never moved so fast in my life! Before I knew it, I  had gone from being sprawled out on the futon next to Richard, to in the kitchen crying Kill IT! KILL IT! KILL IT! watching in horror as he battled to the death with the evil foe. I am happy to report he was victorious! These pictures make it look small but believe me it was HUMUNGO! 

It is on a full sized Frisbee. Richard's thumb is in the background so you can kind of use it as a reference

We looked them up and fortunately, though they do have venomous bite that will swell up and hurt something fierce, they are considered non-toxic by poison control and their bite won't kill you or make you sick.